I can’t breathe, my chest is tight.
Tears rolling down my face. Please just stop.
I’m frozen in time.
I can’t think straight.
I can’t find my voice.
My hands feel shackled.
I want to scream, just scream let it out…Nothing is coming out why!
No matter how much I try. My words have been stolen.
I’m scared.
Stop it, stop it stop crying over anything All I keep doing is crying why can’t it stop!
No matter how you feel Kerry – it will never matter. Your feelings are irrelevant. So many different emotions so many different thoughts.
Why won’t it stop. I’m taking every hit over and over and over again . Don’t say anything stay silent, just silent.
I can’t take any more.
What did I do to deserve this.
I’m in a glass bowl, tapping away at the glass, i can’t escape it won’t break!
Everyones better off without you…. It’s the only way it will stop.
It’s broken me!
I need help….
My mental health has taken a battering it’s been mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. I was signed off by my doctor for the first time in my career/life time. Referred to take theraphy.
I was having a mental breakdown. Something I have never faced before. Over the years I have worked hard to keep on top of my stress levels, anxiety and mental health, I was diagnosed with depression many years ago and I’ve learnt to spot the signs.
I’ve written about online abuse before “writing on eggshells” it’s not something that crossed my mind when I started writing or putting myself out there sharing my life experiences. That anyone would feel the need to be abusive online.
This time was different. This time it destroyed me in many different ways. it’s knocked my confidence. Made a me question who I can trust.
My whole character came under attack something I take great pride in, as well as everything I stand for. I was being called a bully, that I was discriminating, and displayed nasty behaviour. It plays on your mind, you question yourself over and over again asking yourself are you really this person . Are you just lying to yourself by thinking you’re a good person.
Have I made mistakes or bad decisions in the last 43 years. Yes of course I have. Anyone that says differently. Well, that’s there burden to bear and to live with. Me on the other hand I will grow and learn from mine.
I haven’t felt protected and if I’m honest I still don’t. Even writing this I am questioning every word I write.
A piece of me has been chipped away. I fear it’s changed me forever and that makes me sad. Superglue isn’t going to fix this broken piece!
Kisses K
Kerry Thompson - My Life, Kerry's Way. 
Thanks for sharing this Kerry. It’s powerful. I know what it feels like to cry and not be able to stop. This is the way I feel because of our housing situation and the disability price tag. I feel this way when I am trying to fight for better healthcare. I am here for you. I do feel very down (not diagnosed with depression, but not sure what this is) at times, and it’s hard to keep fighting against the same issues, I know. I support you and you’re brave for sharing xx
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Sometimes we all need that mental break from fighting everyday and for everything – it’s so easy to just say I give in!
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so low because of having to fight for things we shouldn’t.
Thank you for your support xx
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