Being disabled comes with it’s own challenges but it also mean you can be judged very quickly by people before they have even said hello. Which is a natural human reaction that we all do, we have a tendency to stereotype and categorise people.
My early 20’s I was full of confidence, carefree and didn’t give a crap what anyone thought about me, I was still walking and working just with a limp but that confidence and carefree me disappeared when I fully transitions to a wheelchair, having muscular dystrophy a Progressive muscle wasting condition my body changes in stages year by year.
I soon noticed people started treating me very differently I found myself in the early parts worried about what people would say about me, worried about bumping into people I knew and getting that pity look. I became overly cheery when meeting or bumping into people making sure I only ever talked about the good things in my life. What’s the saying fake it till you make it I was definitely doing that. When all I wanted to do is hide away as if I was ashamed of being disabled.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELF!
For instance
The most common sentences I hear from people are;
- Well done for getting out the house
- It must be so hard for you
- Ahh bless your doing so well
- Your so lovely
- Ahh your in a wheelchair
- Your always smiling
Looking back at the me then to the me now I think how ridiculous but also I don’t blame myself for being that way either it’s definitely shaped me to be who I am now plus who doesn’t want fight negative assumptions?
I am definitely not ashamed of being disabled
So what changed for me to now be the disabled confident, carefree definitely do not give a crap what people think about me. I realise it takes up way to much energy consuming your everyday life taking you away from being the real you.
If everyone liked you, your doing something wrong.
I’m now not faking it till I make it. If I’m happy and cheery that’s because it’s naturally me, the real me. It’s also not my duty to just share the positives in my life just to make sure people don’t label or categorise me. It also doesn’t matter if people feel sorry for me that’s their feeing you’re never going to be able to stop them from feeling that way.
Would it be world ending if we really didn’t care?? Probably not, No. don’t get me wrong I know it’s easier said than done it doesn’t come over night and we can’t mentally download an app it takes time but just think of how free you would feel when you started to not care.
Kerry 💋
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