As i am sure most disabled people will tell you creating a good support system is crucial, especially when life can sometimes feel like one big roller coaster ride we call life, whether you have an illness or not – without the right support system around you it can make a huge impact if it’s not right.
Without the love and support of my friends and family, i don’t know whom or where I’d be today.
Creating the perfect support system can take some editing at first. What i mean by this – getting rid of the relationships that not only put stress on your body but also on your mind. Emotional baggage takes a toll on your physical health, as well as your energy levels.
As someone living with Muscular dystrophy a progressive muscle weakening condition i have limited energy some days to just have it sucked away, so yes absolutely i value what precious energy i do you have, even more so when that energy tank is on full. I’m putting my trust in my support, that is with me at the time to make sure my time and energy is spent wisely.
“The people in your life should be a source of reducing stress, not causing it.”
It’s important to find people that understand and want to understand someone’s health situation, your entrusting them with primarily your life especially if your like myself and would need help eating and drinking, so it should be as important to them as there own life is to them.
Remember when I said it’s takes a bit of editing at the beginning the same goes for when your caregiver ie family members are putting all their trust in your support system, for instance my husband was very wary at the beginning of letting me go anywhere with family and friends not because he didn’t like them, it’s more to do with my safety and handing over my care needs to someone else and putting that pressure on someone else.
“Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.”
A very true quote above. I have learnt in my 42 years that it’s not about the amount of friendships you have. The close friendships i do have would do anything for me, and vice versa – they’re the kind of people who will still want to hang out regardless of whether that’s in front of the television or at Costa coffee (yes i totally have a WhatsApp group called ladies that Costa with a couple of my girlfriends!).
I know my friends if i desperately needed them would drop everything just to be by my side. (I know because they’ve done it before.) – and i realise that my non-disabled friends will probably never fully understand my muscular dystrophy, but they never pressure me into doing something that my body can’t handle, and they know exactly how and when to assist me without me having to ask. Those are true and meaningful friendships.
“People will come and go in your life.
People will always come and go throughout life, i am a true believer that everyone enters your life for a reason, whether it’s to teach you, love you or experience life with you. I think the hardest, yet most rewarding, lessons we will ever learn as we get older is when going through the crappy times who our true friends are. People have a funny way of revealing their true colours, it might be in a way you think i’m truly thankful they are in my life or in a hurtful way if it’s this way remember that’s their problem to deal with, not ours.
Letting go of certain people in your life doesn’t always mean you don’t love them or wish them the best, it just means that you’re protecting your inner peace. It isn’t the easiest thing to do at first, but eventually, that weight you have been carrying around will be lifted off of your shoulders. And you might not have even realised just how much it was weighing you down until it disappears.
Thankfully i have the most incredible family and friends as my support system and I can’t wait to see them all again.
What’s your support system like – i would love here about yours? – Leave me a comment.
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3 thoughts on “Creating a good support system”
I don’t have a support network & it makes a difficult life even worse. I’ve been told that I need to find & create a support network but who wants to make friends with someone who may need their help, or can’t engage in activities that they want to do. My family have all stepped away & the few friends I had have disappeared. I just don’t fit into their lifestyle any more & no longer have things in common with them. I just don’t know how I can find a support network when I’m starting with nothing?
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Thank you for your comments sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you
I’m so sorry that you haven’t got a great support network. You’ll be very surprised there are people out there that do see us as being friends and are willing to help. Have you looked at some of the Disabled sites on Facebook?
see if there are any day centres around you or even groups that you can join that you have an interest in.
I’m sorry that your family and friends aren’t as supportive as they should be we don’t all have to have the same interest but it’s still nice to have that friendly support.
You have a friend in me!
What an excellent piece! You have really hit the nail on the head… I’m going to have to restructure the majority of my support system as I have just relocated here from South Africa. The people we allow around us or definitely one of the highest contributing factors to our mental state, health and emotional well-being. I’ve learned the hard way and I’m sure there are more lessons to learn.
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