As i am sure most disabled people will tell you creating a good support system is crucial, especially when life can sometimes feel like one big roller coaster ride we call life, whether you have an illness or not – without the right support system around you it can make a huge impact if it’s not right.
Without the love and support of my friends and family, i don’t know whom or where I’d be today.
Creating the perfect support system can take some editing at first. What i mean by this – getting rid of the relationships that not only put stress on your body but also on your mind. Emotional baggage takes a toll on your physical health, as well as your energy levels.
As someone living with Muscular dystrophy a progressive muscle weakening condition i have limited energy some days to just have it sucked away, so yes absolutely i value what precious energy i do you have, even more so when that energy tank is on full. I’m putting my trust in my support, that is with me at the time to make sure my time and energy is spent wisely.
“The people in your life should be a source of reducing stress, not causing it.”
It’s important to find people that understand and want to understand someone’s health situation, your entrusting them with primarily your life especially if your like myself and would need help eating and drinking, so it should be as important to them as there own life is to them.
Remember when I said it’s takes a bit of editing at the beginning the same goes for when your caregiver ie family members are putting all their trust in your support system, for instance my husband was very wary at the beginning of letting me go anywhere with family and friends not because he didn’t like them, it’s more to do with my safety and handing over my care needs to someone else and putting that pressure on someone else.
“Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.”
A very true quote above. I have learnt in my 42 years that it’s not about the amount of friendships you have. The close friendships i do have would do anything for me, and vice versa – they’re the kind of people who will still want to hang out regardless of whether that’s in front of the television or at Costa coffee (yes i totally have a WhatsApp group called ladies that Costa with a couple of my girlfriends!).
I know my friends if i desperately needed them would drop everything just to be by my side. (I know because they’ve done it before.) – and i realise that my non-disabled friends will probably never fully understand my muscular dystrophy, but they never pressure me into doing something that my body can’t handle, and they know exactly how and when to assist me without me having to ask. Those are true and meaningful friendships.
“People will come and go in your life.
People will always come and go throughout life, i am a true believer that everyone enters your life for a reason, whether it’s to teach you, love you or experience life with you. I think the hardest, yet most rewarding, lessons we will ever learn as we get older is when going through the crappy times who our true friends are. People have a funny way of revealing their true colours, it might be in a way you think i’m truly thankful they are in my life or in a hurtful way if it’s this way remember that’s their problem to deal with, not ours.
Letting go of certain people in your life doesn’t always mean you don’t love them or wish them the best, it just means that you’re protecting your inner peace. It isn’t the easiest thing to do at first, but eventually, that weight you have been carrying around will be lifted off of your shoulders. And you might not have even realised just how much it was weighing you down until it disappears.
Thankfully i have the most incredible family and friends as my support system and I can’t wait to see them all again.
What’s your support system like – i would love here about yours? – Leave me a comment.
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