Is my marriage defined by my disability!?
Even up to the day of saying I Do I asked hubby to be if he was totally sure that he wanted to marry me, not for your normal wedding jitter reasons like do you really love me, will you be fateful, this is forever questions. None of those questions even crossed my mind it was the questions of I’m disabled your totally able-bodied I’m never going to be fixed this will only get worse not better do you think you can handle being my primary carer FOREVER??
Living with a rare form of muscular dystrophy a Progressive muscle wasting disorder I’ve gone from starting our relationship 15 years ago walking being able to do everything for him and myself to 3 years in having to rely on him for all my care needs.
The sad truth is Society doesn’t see us firstly as a couple in love they see a carer out with a disabled woman, which just shows even though we’re living in the 21st century people with disabilities aren’t seen as equal.
Our marriage isn’t based on my disability, yes my husband had questions about muscular dystrophy as I was very forthcoming in why I had a limp and used a crutch. However, he also got to know me for me as a person, he appreciated our differences and how I do things in a uniquely, I’m not my muscular dystrophy and certainly not one to sit home feeling sorry for myself.
Hubby loves me because of who I am he constantly tells me he doesn’t see my disability he sees me. Has having muscular dystrophy made me more courageous orstronger?? Maybe. Do I see the world a little differently?? Ab-so-flipping-lutely! I’ve talked before about how Muscular Dystrophy has shaped me as the person I am today, but it isn’t eveything all of my abilities should more than make up for my disability.
Now don’t get me wrong my husband is no saint just because he married someone with a disability. Does it makes him someone who just got to know someone else yes most definitely, now I totally understand that not everyone wants to be with someone with a disability, the same as not everyone likes someone with a certain hair colour, body type or style. It’s doesn’t mean we should praise others simply because of personal preferences. I’m not unequal to you because you walk and Vice versa.
Our marriage is just like every other marriage out there we love, we argue, we make up, we joke, we even support each other that’s marriage!
Like all relationships we have our different strengths and weaknesses we just don’t put all our focus on my muscular dystrophy, yes he helps me but I also help him. I love him not because he married me but because of his qualities.
If you ask my husband how we get through a day he’ll always answer with I have Kez!
If you meet us you’ll see we’re just like most couples so don’t praises us for overcoming challenges or treat us any differently just say hi and get to know us!
Kerry 💋
Are you in a relationship with someone without disabilities how do you think the world views you?? I’d love to know what you think.
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Kerry Thompson - My Life, Kerry's Way. 
Hi Kerry,
Great post! Yes, I am in a relationship with someone without disabilities, my husband Alfredo is also my primary caregiver. I was born very prematurely and I have Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy as well as hydrocephalus (where my body can’t regulate or control cerebrospinal fluid which bathes the brain and spine). I have a valve in my brain (actually 2, but one was not able to be moved during surgery for fear of causing more brain damage) which regulates and drains it to my abdomen via a tube which is attatched to the valve in my brain. I’m a powerchair user and am registered as blind.
Alfredo and I will have been together 14 years this March 23rd and married a year on April 23rd.
I don’t think the world values me enough, and often they think my intelligence is affected which it isn’t- I speak flient Spanish, have a Geography degree and am a keen (via assistive technology) blogger and writer and dream of being published someday.
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