It’s been over a year in the making but we finely made it, as of the 7th January I set a new milestone in my life living with Muscular Dystrophy.
It’s only ever been hubby and I battling though learning and adjusting as my condition gradually progressives as the years go by. I have a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy a muscle wasting condition. Over a year ago I started the conversation that we may need extra help its was by far no reflection on how hubby was caring for me, it was more how my body is failing me that makes caring for me more complex, Ive been unable for a few years to be left alone in my Wheelchair ‘with the what if; my arm slips down the side of my Wheelchair and I’m unable to manoeuvre it back up I would be stuck with no way to call someone for help.
It’s a hard decision on both parts admitting you need help –
As much as hubby would never let on that working as well as caring for me full time, plus trying to keep on top of our home was too much for just one person, he will always muddle on in his victor meldrew way!!
Everyone would probably say surely it would be my decision to make if i needed extra help caring for me and yes in the grand scheme of things, but I’d never want the man I love, the man that with no questions asked started caring for me to feel that he’d failed me in anyway as my carer as that’s not the case.
During this process we have had a few meltdown on both sides not going to lie, which I’m guessing is completely normal or there would be something wrong if we don’t have a few meltdowns.
It’s been many a years since I’ve done any kind of interview, plus I was interviewing for ME the hardest part was what kind of person am I looking for?! Where is the starting point for questions what do I ask, I definitely needed get on with them I knew that much. After asking my trusted go to’s my mum (obvs) & MD Bloggers Crew.
Armed with my questions I was as ready as I could be, having a few candidates to interview, there was two I had a great feeling about both had a little training behind them, but one just stood out that little bit more she just ticked every box I was looking for. Making sure I did a second interview a little less formal more talking to see if I got the same feeling as in the first interview and I did if anything I wanted to just say ‘you can start now’ but being sensible (for a change) Talking it though with hubby he said as long as I was happy and felt comfortable he’s was happy as it was after all about me.
i can’t believe we’re now on our second month together, what a difference having a PA has made in ours/my life, (why did we not do this earlier!? I’m a true believer in things happen when there meant to and this was our time – or we wouldn’t have found each other!) hubsta doesn’t feel constant worry when he goes to work when he leaves me on my own as the PA is now with me, my cough assist Is getting done the endless pile of washing vanished, home cooked meals no more ready meals I’m full everyday not eating junk. Our home now resembles a home – who knew we had so much junk, in the words of my hubsta ”The bin men are going to think we’re moving out with the amount of bin bags going out everyweek’, don’t ask me where it’s all coming from as we only have a two bed bungalow.
The best thing of all someone to do things with like go shopping, cinema, going for walks (well when the weather’s better!) We have made an endless list of things we can do together. And I’m so excited for the weather to get better.
We’re still in training mode stage like hoisting for toileting needs finding that right equipment to make both our life’s that little bit earlier, it’s definitely been fun and giggles for us two not sure everyone else feels the same!! And just getting ourselves into a routine where we both feel comfortable with each other – Then watch out world.
In all honestly I didn’t think the whole process from the date of saying we need extra help to really only now having someone in place would take so long, I started this process in the autumn of 2017! surly there has to be a faster way to get everything in place.